Fisterre means “the end of the world” and when you stand at the lighthouse on the rocks facing only the endless ocean, you can understand how this place got its name in ancient times. Cabo Fisterre has been the subject of mythical tales and though it is pagan in origin it has become a special destination for pilgrims who wish to let go of the old order and awaken to the new. I chose this route in part because of this. On the edge of the ocean there is a fire pit where pilgrims can offer a symbolic burning of the past and there I was with my paper and my lighter.
For the past five years I have been a grateful member of Al-Anon and I have worked my way through 11 of the 12 steps of that program. For those who do not know our community, the Fourth Step is your personal inventory. This is the often painful exercise of revealing your character defects or coping mechanisms as I like to call them. It can be a tough exercise but it provides the material you need to continue with your amends. I came to the fire pit to burn a page of my Fourth Step.
I knew that burning this page of my inventory was symbolic and I did not expect the sky to open up when the ash blew to the sea nor did I expect to hear God’s forgiving voice. I just felt this was something I had to do; sometimes ceremony is required to mark life’s milestones.
So I set fire to the paper, burning my thumb in the process because it was a particularly windy day. I stood guard until my sins were transformed to dust and then I began the walk back to town.

I was thinking about my sore knees and where would I get some food when suddenly I realized I actually felt lighter. It occurred to me that the weight of guilt had been released.
As I walked I thought about the crucial distinction between guilt and the regret which I still have and expect to always have.
Regret allows me to look at what I have done in the past and to live more or less comfortably with the self knowledge of it while guilt makes made me want to shut and lock the door on my past.
Regret is part of who I am, part of my more aware self and it informs and shapes a better today. Guilt on the other hand haunted me, painfully cutting me off from any learning from the past that could possibly have increased my effectiveness today.
Tomorrow I move on to the next stage of my Camino and I pass the halfway mark. After the fire pit exercise I have designated these next days of my Camino as the beginning of the rest of my life. I am open to what may come as the sun rises on day six and I begin to walk with the knowledge and peace of my past not the weight of it.